Let's Catch Up...

Since I last posted anything on my blog, a whole crapload of changes have happened here.

First,  I got a year older. Yup, that's right. I'm still in my blissfully false twenties but another year older in them. Of course if you ask one of my kids, they will tell you my actual age which makes me cringe a bit. Although for superstitious reasons I'm glad to no longer be at an age that ends in the number 3.

Second, I made a mean Turkey-day dinner and no one got food poisoning. This shouldn't be a hallmark achievement, but I feel with how crazy things have been it really is.

Third, I didn't complete NaNoWriMo. And I'm okay with it even though I didn't think I would be. Instead, I spent my days basking in time with my mom while she felt well.

For those of you who might be new, my mom was diagnosed with an aggressive form of breast cancer in mid-2011 and was re-diagnosed with it late 2012. She had 4 months in remission before learning she was terminal.

Fourth, I managed not to forget anything on my holiday shopping list. This was a miracle of epic proportions this year because mom started feeling bad and I did most of her shopping for her this year.

Fifth, I pulled off a nice birthday/Christmas Eve celebration for my mom even though I wasn't getting much sleep because she wasn't feeling well. She spent a good chunk of the day up and smiling with all 6 of her grandkids and the rest of us.

This is where it gets a little sad... Those of you not ready to read something sad this early in the year can feel free to stop now... I'll see you in a week with a big announcement. Those of you in for the whole pound, let's get on with it.

On Christmas Day, mom was admitted to the hospital for what we thought might be an upper respiratory infection or pneumonia. Turns out it was her cancer taking over her left lung. She had been undergoing a new treatment that was in the phase 1/2 stage. Unfortunately, in her case, the medicine wasn't working. The day after Christmas, her oncologist, our much loved Dr. C, came in to see her in the hospital while on vacation to review her options. It was then she announced with certainty that she was done. She was discharged the following day under the care of the great people of my local branch of Hospice.

Less than a week later, I had the honor of being by her side as she passed from this world to the next.  She was surrounded by people who loved her in her last hours and for that I will always be grateful. Because she died as she lived, being surrounded by love.

In the almost two weeks since her passing, I've managed to get most of her affairs settled, but there is still much to do. Last weekend, surrounded by family, she was laid to rest. But, it was the hours after that will stay with me forever. Instead of a traditional funeral, my mom had asked that we throw some life celebrations. So, I was able to see friends and family I rarely get to see and celebrate her life. It was an amazing experience to see and hear so many wonderful people and listen to their tales of how she touched their lives...

And I get to do it again this coming weekend because she had two places where she lived over her short 56 years on this planet. But as the RSVP's come in I am touched by how many people she has touched over the years. That, and how many wonderful friends I have that have made her passing so much easier to bare.

So, to all of you who have sent me a text, email, or called over the last 4 weeks while I've been going through what I can honestly say has been the hardest moments of my life, THANK YOU! Without each and every one of you I'm not sure I would've made it through this with my sanity in tact.

Oh, and to the friends who send me pictures of hunky guys, coffee, and dirty jokes; I  LOVE YOU!!!  You guys have the best remedies for the blues. Thank you!!!

So, I leave you all with this picture from last winter of mom and I prior to the pink hair...

Rest well tonight and know that another angel is keeping watch over you... 

I do.

Hugs and happiness in the New Year ~ Jeni

Day 3

It's Day 3 of NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) and I am slightly over 6,000 words at this point. Yesterday was my CRW (Carolina Romance Writers) meeting and I regret to say I didn't get much actual writing done afterward. However, the pantser in me took a quick breather and let the plotter that I have locked away in the deep, deep recesses of my brain out for a minute to grab a breath of fresh air and check plot points.

Then the pantser roared back to life, locked the plotter in a closet, and drank a cup 'o decaf. Actually, it was more like, she called on one of her writing buddies and said, "Help! My plotter got loose again! Bring some rope!"

Naturally N. R. Ratcliffe came to the rescue and reminded the pantser that plotters never prosper when pantsing. (I swear these are all real things... I haven't lost my mind... yet.)

Anyway, today I meet the day renewed and ready to write as soon as I get a few things taken care of family-wise. Then I am off to the land of Elemental strife that exists only in my head and on my computer. ;-)

I hope that those of you taking on the NaNo challenge are having as much fun as I am!

Cheers!
~Jeni Bee

50K or Bust

It's November 1st. This same time last year it was just the day before my hubby's b'day; just another Thursday.

But this year is different. This year is the first day of Na No Wri Mo (National Novel Writing Month). So, for those of you as unknowing as I was this time last year, it's a 30 day challenge to write 50,000 words. Essentially the rough draft of a novel as I see it.

Thanks to other great writer friends like VJ Burke, Natalie Ratcliffe, Denise Leton, and so many more I decided to take the plunge and sign up. It's no secret that my writing time has been less than usual in the last months, but I need to get back in the game and I've set myself up to have November (my birthday month also, send gifts in the form of decaf coffee, please) as my comeback month.

So once I click publish here, I will officially open and start my first-ever Na No Wri Mo document.

Once I have some words down on the page, I will add a word count widget here so we can all keep track of my progress together. If you are also participating in Na No Wri Mo, feel free to comment here and we can "talk shop"as the month moves along!

Best of luck to those writing. May your words be thoughtful and your fingers be swift!

~Jeni Bee

Holy Big Voice Batman! (and I'm back...)

So today I went to my first CRW (Carolina Romance Writer's) meeting in a few months hoping to get the much-needed kick in the pants to get back to my writing. It worked. But maybe a little too well, because here I sit (immediately following the meeting) at a Starbucks in Charlotte working on a "I'm Back!" blog post.

While I sit here with the wheels turning in my head trying to divine the perfect words to say, "Hey World! I'm BACK!" The only thing I can think of is the words spilling from a perfect stranger's mouth. Why? Frankly because the man won't. stop. talking.

Now, for those of you who know me, I'm a chatter. I will sit and bend your ear for an entire day if you let me, but there are some things best left unsaid in a public forum or say outside a Starbucks on a nice Carolina Blue day. Like that your now-spouse turned you down for years because she had it in her mind that you were only in the "friend zone" and she wanted someone more "exotic." The fact that you now landed her and have kept her for 7 years shouldn't be something worthy of applause. Yet somehow you did receive just that. Applause. Huh?

Maybe it's just me but, if you were my character and I was creating you, at this point from all that you've told to some long-lost friends and a whole-slew of perfect strangers, your wife settled. Yeah, I said it. She settled. Why? I sure as hell don't know, but maybe it was because she was getting old or she got tired of watching you hit on inappropriate women or maybe she finally got tired of listening to you beg for her to see you as something other than her buddy. And not even a best buddy from the story you just told... Just a plain old buddy who used to ask her out relentlessly. Oh and who oftentimes over the years had to reassure her that you weren't interested in guys.

See, in the world where I live and play, if you were my hero, the two of you would've been best friends. There would be a slew of bad relationships spanning years of friendship. Oooo, and let's not forget the underlying sexual attraction between you both. You wouldn't be the only one thinking she's hot. Not in my world. She would never mention wanting someone more exotic, because in my world, you would be exactly what she wanted, but here's the kicker... you would be the one person she really wanted but just couldn't have. "Why not?" you ask. and the easy answer is "who cares?". What matters is that in my world you would be the guy she compared everyone else to. The one she dreamed about when she closed her eyes at night. The voice she longed to hear on the phone after she got some bad news. You, loud-talking stranger, would be that guy if you were living in my world. Which for you would end pretty darn well.

In the real world, I'm glad she finally decided to give you the chance you always wanted and it sounds like so far, so good, but I hope for everyone's sake that she doesn't finally meet that exotic guy she'd been holding out for for so long. Because in the real world that could spell disaster. Of course in my world, the tall exotic guy wouldn't be an issue, because he would've broken her heart into a million pieces when she caught him in the midst of a three-way with his sister's best friend and her roommate when all the characters were in college. She would've called you in tears and you would've done what any good best guy friend would've offered to do; bring over a half gallon of chunky monkey ice cream, a copy of Ever After, Pretty Woman, or worst-case a romantic comedy with her favorite hunky actor in it, and then dried her tears and offered her a back rub. (Read that again guys looking for tips... BACK rub!)

By the time the credits rolled, she would've been asking you (instead of running a mental dialog with herself ) why she didn't date a guy as wonderful as you. That would've been your prefect opening. Your opportunity to blow as it was. And in my world, sir, you would have said something like, "Yeah, why aren't you dating me?" Then the words would start a fire on pages that turned faster than the blink of an eye and you would have the happy-ever-after story that was worth telling.

But, I am glad you have had 7 happy years together and I wish you 7 more and then 7 more after that (and so on), but next time you feel the need to talk about your story out loud in a public place at a volume that rivals a jet-engines, make sure no writers are nearby or you may wind up with a much sadder story that you think you have because they will have rewritten yours in a way that reminds you some stories (like how you had to beg for her years to consider dating you) aren't really worth telling.

Thanks though for the inspiration for my "I'm back!" blog post because I wasn't sure what to write about until your story got me thinking.

Readers, I am so glad to be back on the blog. I've missed you all dearly and I can't wait to get back to regular postings!

Cheers!
~Jeni

RWA

This year has been a huge batch of firsts for me when it comes to my writing career:

I joined RWA (Romance Writers of America).

I joined my local RWA chapter CRW (Carolina Romance Writers).

I finished writing my first book.

I did my first pitch for an agent.

I did my first pitch for an editor.

I did my first writing retreat.

And now I'm at my first National RWA Conference.

In fact this is my first conference ever really. My jobs prior to my writing weren't the kind where conferences were something that I participated in.  I have been to events for Ron's work, but nothing like this.

I kid you not when I say that for the last 2 days, I have filled my head with more info than I am sure to retain. I have heard amazingly talented authors speak so eloquently that a room of people were brought to tears. I have made new friends, new contacts, and had the opportunity to meet some of the writers who I greatly admire. 

So far, it's been amazing. Overwhelming. But amazing.

I came to RWA not sure what to expect. My suitcases were packed to the point of no return and I hoped that I wouldn't stumble over my words too much when I met someone new. After two full days of lectures, I'm getting to the point of my brain exploding with new ideas, exciting new techniques, and inspiration to spare. And I want more. But there is only one day remaining and then it's back to the grind stone aka kids. 

I'm trying my best to find a way to bottle up the experience so I can carry it with me until next year as I get ready to submit to both the agent and the editor that requested a look at The Wind's Solace. Before I know it, tomorrow will come and go and my first RWA will be over. I'll take everything I've learned and carry it home with me as a more confident writer.

Oh and I'm pretty sure some attendees of another conference happening locally will take some things of their very own home. Yup, a big name tech company was sharing our hotel and I'm pretty sure some of those reserved guys got more than an earful from some of us more brazen romance writers while in the elevators at any given time. ;-)  You're welcome Mrs. Techie. You're welcome!

Thanks to all of you for being patient here while I worked overtime on edits to prepare for this conference. I hope to see you all again here next week! 

Cheers!
~Jeni

It's Father's Day...

I know, to many it's just another greeting card holiday, but to me Father's Day is something much more. Not because I had a wonderful father or anything, because I promise you I did not, but because I had something more.  A wonderful mother.

As I watch my facebook feeds fill up with loving messages of father appreciation, I sit and wonder if it would be wrong of me to add to it a loving message for my mother.

You know her. The one who is fighting her cancer daily for another day on this Earth to be with her family, her friends, her loved ones. The one who taught me to believe in myself even if I didn't think any one else believed in me. The woman who taught me to be brave and be strong and set such a good example of how to be a loving person, that I had no choice but to be a compassionate person who strives daily to measure up to the pure kindness and goodness that is who she is.

This isn't to say that I don't have dads to celebrate on a day like today. Ron is a great dad. Stink is a great dad. My FIL is a great PopPop. So, I do. I just feel bad that today it would be taking away from them for me to celebrate my mom again on another greeting card holiday.

I can't help but celebrate her again today though. Because she has always stepped in to the "dad" shoes when I needed someone to be my "dad." She helped me learn how to drive s stick shift even though she herself didn't know how. She helped me with my foul shots when I played basketball even though she had never played. When a boyfriend wasn't good for me, she told me to walk away and not look back and offered to kick his ass when he continued to harass me (although my mother doesn't say the word 'ass' she says 'tuckus' or 'hiney'). When I was scared, she protected me. When I felt down, she picked me up. When I felt lost, she came and found me (she still digs me out from the dark places I find myself in even if it's only under a pile of laundry).

This wonder woman was more of a father than the man who legitimately holds the title and for that I think she deserves to hear "Happy Father's Day, Mom." So to all the moms out there who stepped in for a man and became both Mom and Dad for a kid, "Happy Father's Day to you." You deserve to be recognized too.

Mom & I. She's never let me go since!

My kids say the darnedest things...

I live in my house with little individuals. I used to say little monsters, but that was unfair to them they pointed out. (I still whisper it sometimes when they aren't in earshot, but they always seem to hear me!)

But these little monsters individuals that Ron and I created are at that age where they are actually becoming little grown-up people. They can make their own breakfasts, shower themselves (and get clean), fold/hang and put away their own laundry (yay for me!), and make a whole tableful of people laugh so hard they choke!

See it's mainly my daughter who has the gift of one-liners. She's so good with a zinger that I can't wait until she's old enough to come up with the one-liners for my books.

Case in point, this morning Ron was running late for a web-ex, thus pushing back their coffee date to this afternoon. I had the unfortunate task of telling her the bad news.  She turns to me with kind of crabby face only a six-year-old can pull off while still looking adorable and says, "You just ruined my date with daddy!"

Oh and my son, who has anxiety and lots of it, decided the night before the last day of school that he wanted his hair purple for the last day of school. About halfway through the dying process, he starts to panic. Yup, half his head is purple.  And not a cool half like trying to do a purple mohawk kind of way... like the right half of his head is purple while the rest is still dirty blond. Yeah, parenting win fail. (In case you are wondering, we did get his whole head done... see the evidence provided...)

Oh, yeah, the girl is upstairs brushing her teeth right this minute after eating lunch and hollering at me, "MOM!  I'm brushing my teeth!" Okay, I'm as happy as any mom when a kid brushes their teeth without me telling them to, but my curiosity got the best of me, so I asked "Why?" One harmless little question. Not with this kid. "Because I have a date with Daddy today. And I want to smell good for my date with Daddy. You know, I can't talk about this all day, right? About my date with DADDY!"

Mmmhhmmm. Rub it in kid. The last date I had with daddy, we spent an entire dinner conversation talking about you and your brother, then didn't want to go home before you monsters darling children were asleep, so we drove around aimlessly listening to music in the car for over an hour. RUB IT IN! And for those of you wondering if a romance writer can really have that lame of a date with her leading man, the sad but true answer is yes. But, the flip side of that evening was, we laughed like teenagers who were late for curfew.  It was awesome. Probably because we used to do that kind of thing when we first started dating. Driving around with nothing to do, just listening (me singing along to) music just having fun and being late for curfew.

Oh and how about the time I had read a blog earlier this week (by single dad laughing) about boys and farts being a bonding experience. In the blog the author mentions women possibly not understanding the bond created with flatulence. I mentioned to the little (girly) stinker sitting across the table from me with the big brown eyes, that a boy wrote an article saying that girls might not understand how funny farting can be. To which she laughed, squeezed one out and said, "I'm queen of the toots!" Yup, girls get fart humor too.

Oh, and the conversation at lunch today between my two kids...

Boy: I want to go to Raleigh.
Me: You used to live in Raleigh.
Girl: Did I?
Me: For about a month and a half.
Girl: Then we died? Right?
Me: What?
Boy: Al, when you die, you're dead... unless you have a life potion.
Girl: (thoughtful introspection for less than a millisecond) If there's ever zombies trying to chase us, I'll run back and throw Grandma into a wheelchair and run with her in the chair so the zombies don't get her because you know she's too slow and zombies might want to eat her brain. (finally taking a breath) Yeah, zombies really like brains.
Me: Huh?
Grandma: At least she wasn't going to feed me to the zombies.

Yeah, this time she wasn't going to. With that little monster, ahem sweetheart, you just never know. Although, she's decided she wants to be a witch. Why you ask? Because in my hierarchy of paranormal beings, werewolves beat vampires, vampires beat zombies, and witches beat werewolves. So, she wants to be a witch. That toots. Maybe that's how she flies... hmm, I feel a kid's book coming on.

"I'm brushing my hair, Mommy!  Because I want to look pretty for my date with Daddy..."
Just got that memo. Just now.  As I'm typing. Why? Because it's summer break and the kids can find me anywhere!!

Ahhh! the boy just rushed in to sniff his blanket. I kid you not.  He has a sniffing compulsion with his favorite baby blanket. It's practically in tatters so he can't have it regularly, but I keep it handy for when his anxiety overwhelms him.  Or for when he needs a hit. Of his blankey. That smells kinda like maple syrup no matter how often I wash it. Yeah. I guess that's better than street drugs though, so I'm chalking that one up as a parenting win. I take 'em where I can get 'em.

Okay, I'm off to be productive. If you don't hear from me soon, send a search party because the chance is good that the little monsters lovlies killed me and didn't have a life potion to bring me back.

Cheers!
~Jeni

There is a mountain I need to climb today.

Unfortunately it's made out of laundry.
Some clean to be folded and put away, most dirty to be washed, dried, folded and put away.

workathomemumsnetwork.com

But I'm not going to worry about it. *gasp*

That's right, because today, I plant to spend the entire day doing what my Carolina Romance Writers meeting inspired me to do. EDIT!

I know, I know, I seem to only talk about editing these days, but honestly that is mostly what I am doing with my writing.  Thanks to the suggestion of a great writer (Tracy Poole) I read a book about Deep Point of View then followed it up yesterday with a session on DPOV at our monthly meeting.

Yes, that's my MS on a pile of laundry...

These new skills couldn't have come at a better time either. "Why?" You ask. Well, I have a contest entry due in a few days that I've been wanting to submit and with all of this great newfound knowledge, I think my submission will be much stronger.

So, for the rest of today I won't be worrying about goals and laundry, I'll be editing/rewriting. Not that I expect to win a contest, but because with each contest I enter and receive feedback on, the better my story becomes!

Maybe then I am going to actually climb a mountain today. A manuscript mountain!

What mountains are in your path this week?

Working, working, working

It's been longer than I'd like to admit since I last updated this blog.  For that, please accept my humble apologies. If you don't follow Mimosa Mornings Writers yet, that's a great way to keep up with me every Wednesday.  :-)

However, let me fill you in on what's been going on since we last met.

I've been editing like a feind. I also went on a weekend writer's retreat with my local chapter of RWA (Romance Writers of America). Guess who I got to meet?  Anna DeStefano! I know, right?!?! She was amazing and did a three-part workshop with us that has me re-inspired to edit!

I can't tell you just how much I needed that push to get back to editing since I was starting to dread sitting down in front of my computer to edit. Perfect timing!

The weekend also offered me the priceless opportunity to get better acquainted with the local writers in RWA. I never expected to have so much support as a writer. Honestly, I couldn't have found a better group of people to work with!

Oh! Don't let me forget to mention that I also was lucky enough to find a group of writers who are all needing that "accountability" that sometimes falls by the wayside when you don't have a hard-fast deadline to keep you working. So, we've decided to implement an accountability pledge where each week, we will list a few reasonable small goals and we will send our progress by the end of the week.

If you're interested here are my goals for the week as stated when I sent them to Denise Leton:

Okay, so let's get down to business about our goal for this week…

1- I've printed my MS today so I can implement some of Anna's editing suggestions.  I also bought more mini post-its than is healthy for one woman to own.  

2- I'm going through my story and getting the BME chart filled out with both internal and external conflicts to make sure my book has what it needs. 

3- I'm reading Rivet Your Readers With Deep Point Of View -- It was recommended by Tracey Poole and it's a quick read that already helps with my "showing vs telling" in a few spots that were irking me

4- One that note, by Saturday I will send you 5 different parts that I've revised from telling instead of showing to showing instead of telling.  

Also, I'll send you my first chapter and overview so you know what you're reading… 

So far, I've sent the first chapter and overview and started post-it noting my MS (#1). Today I'll finish #3 and start #4. Tomorrow I'm going to do #2. Thursday I will wrap up whichever of these isn't fully completed!  

See what I mean about working, working, working?  

The good news is that all of this work will pay off someday when the book gets picked up by a publisher. Then hopefully the second book will too. And the third, and so on. :-)

So, until next time my faithful readers, I'll be seeing you on Mimosa Mornings Writers every Wednesday. In fact, here's a super secret sneak peek at tomorrow's post entitled, Nature... Inspiration or trying to kill you?

The thing is now I live in suburbia outside of a major NC city (Yes, folks, this Jersey Girl has gone Southern Gal) and it seems all-of-a-sudden nature is out to get me.

Like bears. Apparently bears run the world. So do geese that would rather chase you down and murder you rather than just ignore you with disdain and look cute like ducks.  Why can’t geese be more like duck-pond ducks?? 

To read more, go check out Mimosa Mornings Writers tomorrow, May 22nd!

Be Well!
~Jeni

I'm walking on sunshine

Well, not really and technically I'm sitting in sun rays coming through a window, but the lyrics of a catchy song sounded better as a title than "I'm sitting on my ass with sun coming in the nearby window."

I'll call the spade a spade and we can move on.  My mom is currently out of town with my younger brother and his family on vacation.  I'm excited that she's feeling well enough to go and that all the doctors who weigh in on these things eagerly gave ehr the green light to go. However, I'm finding myself worrying.

I can't explain why exactly, but there's this nagging worry that she will overdo and get sick or something. I know it's an irrational worry, because she's al set to be in a wheelchair for safety, my brother has been briefed on her needs as far as her health conditions are concerned and she's a grown-up. She knows her limits and she has promised to respect those limits and not overdo.

But still I worry.  Why?  Probably because deep down I'm a bit of a control freak. (Okay, maybe that's a huge understatement at times) Mostly it's probably because once someone tells you that your favorite person in the entire world has an unknown but definitely finite number of days left in this world, you start to worry about anything that can limit or reduce those numbered days.

So I worry that she might fall. Or catch a simple cold. Or her blood sugar will tank. Or any number of stupid things that she herself would tell me to stop worrying about. Honestly, I usually do a good job of not worrying so much about those things.  Of course that's because she's usually right here. I can walk downstairs and around a corner and see for myself that she's okay.

So this week when she's away I find myself sitting on my ass, trying to work but instead hoping and praying that she's okay. I remember doing the same thing last year when she moved back home when they couldn't find any other cancer cells after her rigorous treatment plan, but then I thought she was healthy.  This time knowing she's sick makes it different I guess.

The house is too quiet. She oftentimes likes having the tv on for background noise during the day. I can't wait until she's home again. Then I can relax again. Which is funny since she thought I'd be more relaxed with her gone so I could work in peace as she is fond of saying. Too bad that she brings me peace!

And by the time you are reading this post, I will in fact be walking on sunshine because I'll post this after she returns home so that she won't read it and worry about me worrying.

Be well!

In other news....

Did I mention that I recently started contributing to a writer's blog?  No?  Oh my! Where has my brain been these days??

Well, here's the skinny... I'm currently the Wednesday poster on Mimosa Mornings Writers.  It's a great group of writers who post about writing, anything that inspires us to write, or the mimosa's or Irish coffees we drink while writing! ;-)  Okay, mine is the Irish coffee, but they let me in the Mimosa Mornings group anyway!  So, if you don't get enough of me here, hop on over to Mimosa Mornings Writers on Wednesdays to see me.  And look around while you are there because otherwise you will miss the terrific posts by Christine Gasser, Denise Leton, and Natalie R. Ratcliffe. I'm completely honored to get to work with these amazing ladies and if I ever find myself needing some inspiration, I turn to these word wizards to help get my creative juices flowing!  Plus, Denise is great at sending pictures of my favorite actors that inspire me!! ;-)

So, If you want to read my previous posts at MMWs... follow the links below.  If you want to read the bios of the amazing peeps I surround myself with (them with mimosas, me with my Irish coffee)- click the "about" link once you are on the MMW page!

I look forward to keeping up with you all on both pages, so comment away my friends!  :-)

Mimosa Mornings Writers

I'm Mary-Freakin' Poppins

I'm An Introvert Who Plays An Extrovert In Real Life

Pitching Your Baby

To zip line or not to zip line

The title sounds random--I know, but I need some serious advice. I'm terrified of heights.  I should clarify that my fear is more in the "If I fall from here, I'll die" way. It's a little different from the "being up here makes me panic completely" way. In my brain it's the normal fear that comes with evolution.

I mean, I love roller coasters. Being strapped into that cart that goes hurtling through the air while twisting, turning, and ultimately throwing me for a few loops (if it's a good coaster it does all of those things!) gives me a rush that I eagerly anticipate each and every time I get in line for my next coaster ride. I DO NOT do drop towers, free fall rides, or that haunted elevator in Disney that makes me have nightmares about any random elevator dropping me to my death. See, there's a huge difference in my neurosis fears.

That being said, I have the opportunity to go zip lining in a couple of weeks and a part of me is totally in. However, a bigger part of me screams, "falling off the side of a mountain is what crazy people do!  And paying to do it is even crazier!"

So, I'm looking for some feedback here (preferably from those of you who've done this and lived to tell the tale...) that can tell me if I should xanex up and go for it or sit it out with a glass of wine at the bottom of the mountain.

Leave me a comment and tell me yay or nay... I need the advice!

Thanks! ~ Jeni

It's 1 am... Do you know where your manuscript is?

It's one am. I have edited the first three chapters of my manuscript for an entire week. You read that right. Words that it took me mere hours to write originally took me a week to edit and re-edit and ask trusted friends to help edit again.

And now it's as done as I can get it. So, instead of waiting until morning (I know it's morning now, but I mean the sane hours of the morning) I sent those three precious chapters with a heartfelt and genuine letter to the editor I met with last weekend.

I realize rejection rates for new manuscripts by new authors are high, but still I sent my baby manuscript with the hopes that someone other than me will love it.

With that, I am finally going to try to get some much-needed and well-deserved sleep so that I don't sleep-walk through mom's chemo tomorrow.

Before saying goodnight I have to thank some very awesome friends and family for taking time to read, comment, and edit with me this week. So thanks to all you wonderful people who's names have been changed to protect the guilty!

Thanks from the bottom of my heart!

~Jeni <3

Pitching

I'm not talking about baseball here... I'm talking about making an actual pitch to an actual editor or agent.

This weekend I have the opportunity to pitch to an editor and it will be my first ever pitch.  So, what do I do to get prepared you ask...

Simple. I panic.  That's how I roll ladies and gents.  I take an entire day to meltdown in full-fledged panic mode.  I write a pretty good pitch at 1 in the morning then I spend the following day telling myself I'm crazy for attempting to do this.  I distract myself with editing and writing.  Then I write a kick-ass chapter for the book I'm pitching.  (A chapter I didn't initially see being in the book, but now I can't imagine the book without I might add...)

And now I can't not pitch the book, right?? I mean that chapter is probably one of my favorites now... so I can't let it sit home with my 'balls' right??  No!  I will not be that nervous nelly!

Instead I will pitch to the kids until they roll their eyes, pitch to myself in the bathroom mirror until I can count my eyelashes as I do it, and attempt to pitch to the poor, unsuspecting UPS guy who I've already scarred for life anyway when he delivers my new book today...

So, yeah.  I picked out something professional to wear and I am working on memorizing a pitch that I wrote so feel like I should already know like the back of my hand (but apparently I don't).

Yeah, I think I'll go edit again for a couple of hours... then I'll work on it.  Tomorrow there's a good chance I'm going to pitch my book to my mom's whole oncology team while I'm there... yeah.  I'm that desperate!  lol!!

Wish me luck and let's hope I don't strike out!

My Alter-ego Is A Superhero...

She saves the world with literature.  She saves trees by editing on-screen instead of on paper.  She recycles all the bottled water she consumes (okay, so we are working on getting her to switch to filtered tap, but little steps people, little steps).  She hosts book clubs for the youth in her home and bribes the kids with foods and crafts for reading.  She ignores dirty dishes (and saves water) until they magically disappear.  She cures cancer with hilarious antics (not FDA proven or approved, but hey, it’s a work in progress).  She runs on decaf coffee and smartwater.  She does a mean load of laundry (although folding is her nemesis) and she can pack one heck of a lunch.

But even with all that going for her, she still is humanoid enough to be down and out with the flu for almost 2 weeks.  Yeah, she isn’t immune to the pesky little bug of fever, snot, and rib-cracking coughs.  DAMN.  What’s the point of being a superhero if you can’t be immune to the flu?  I mean the common cold, and she’s all “I’m kicking colds and taking names, so you better look out!” but against the flu she didn’t even stand a chance. 

Turns out, neither did my kids.  And did I mention that Ron was out of town for the week for work?  No?  Oh-- in my post- fever haze I must’ve forgotten to add that tidbit.  Yeah.  He was on the other side of the country for his job while we all lay feverish and broken.  Each of us banished to separate rooms of the house while wearing facemasks in the common areas.  Why? You ask.  To keep Mom from getting the dreaded flu.  There’s nothing worse than having an aggressive cancer than having an aggressive cancer and a house full of people sick with the flu trying to take care of you.  I’m pretty sure that’s the stuff of nightmares for Oncologist’s and cancer patient’s alike.  But we managed to keep her healthy.  And we are all safely on the other side of this thing…  FINALLY! 

So, thanks for coming flu, but next time we won’t be sad if you skip our house… really.  It’s okay.  We’ll always remember these times with you… forever (probably cause I’ll still be coughing then…). 

Here’s to a healthy Spring and the return of my superpowers!

Be Well ~Jeni

Stabby, much? Nope, just quirky.

It’s common knowledge around our home that I have a BIG personality.  I can be quiet and reserved (when I’m asleep), but most times I "live out loud" as I like to say.  Poor Ron is on the receiving end of most of my tirades and eccentricities, but in my defense, he asked to marry me first.   Had he waited a bit, I’m sure some other poor guy would be stuck with me by now.

Of course, being a mom I need to reign in my “crazy” to not frighten the children (well, more like the neighbors’ children since I think my kids were born immune to me). To keep a lower profile around the kids, I tend to mellow out my overreactions.  So instead of yelling, “You dumbass!  Why, in all that is good in the world, would you think __________________ is a good idea?  I can’t believe you would insist on doing something so stupid!!”  Instead I glare at him and say casually, “Man, I’m beginning to feel stabby.”  Stabby = annoyed enough with you to potentially stab you with my fork or another sharp object*.  Or instead of letting a string of 4 letter and kid inappropriate words fly when driving; I’ll wave my arms like the lunatic I am (remember I learned how to drive in NJ folks, we’re lucky I wave my arms and not a middle digit) and yell, “that lady/guy are being REALLY goofy today.  They must have had a big bowl of CRAZY for breakfast this morning!”  You see what I mean; things that are slightly less prone to getting a phone call from the school after one of my kids repeats it on the playground offensive.

 

I’ve also been known to be a little eccentric about things.  I enjoy life and feel like most people take it way too seriously.  So, I find things that are fun or quirky and enjoy them.  For example, coloring my hair.  We aren’t talking about something you can buy in a box at the local drugstore either.  I’m talking Manic Panic’s semi-permanent Ultra-Violet or Hot Hot Pink hair color.  For those of you wondering, purple suits me much better than brunette, but as a brunette a LOT of bleach is required to maintain said purple hair.  But sometimes to shake things up I’ll pull out a fuchsia pink wig and wear it out shopping.

I also am one of those annoying 30-somethings with ringtones like the teenagers use.  Unfortunately some of the “tunes” I am rocking out to are legitimately current tunes, but there is a greater likelihood you will hear These Boots Are Made For Walking, Come A Little Closer, Fever, Son of A Preacher Man, Smooth Criminal, Take A Little Piece of My Heart, or Fast Car. Yup.  It hasn’t been decided which embarrasses my kids more; when Son of A Preacher Man starts up or Let’s Have A Kiki.  Pretty sure it’s a draw.

So, in small ways, I find ways to express myself and enjoy life.  All the while, trying not to stab people*.  Yeah, life is good!  So, to all my readers out there, let your freaky/quirky/special/honest flags fly and be yourself and enjoy today!  We aren’t always promised a tomorrow…

Be well!

~Jeni

*For clarification purposes, I have never stabbed anyone... yet.  Check back in a week or so.

The many hats of Jeni

As I’ve said before, I’m a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend, and a volunteer. Oh, and a writer. Did I forget to mention that? Probably.

Life is a delicate game of Topple where I try to balance all of my jobs equally without letting the board spill, scattering all of the pieces all over my dirty hardwood floors. Yeah, dirty hardwoods.  Because I forgot I also am supposed to clean. Let’s not even talk about the chef hat that is buried somewhere beneath the frozen foods in my deep freezer.  I guess what I’m getting at is that on any given day I wear multiple hats. Some I can find easier than others and some I enjoy wearing more than others.   

I’ve recently added a nurse’s cap with taking care of my mom during her cancer battle, but as she says, “You were meant to be a writer and the only way you’re going to be a writer is to write, so get to it!” Needless to say, I’m not going to argue with my cancer-ridden mom (Her words, not mine. She’s getting really good at playing the ‘cancer’ card…) Far be it for me to upset her, so I’m taking some classes to help me along in the 'getting published' realm of things and I’m scheduling a week’s worth of writing at a time.

So far this week I’ve made what I like to think is progress. I finally got myself signed up with the Romance Writers of America, which was a goal of mine for a while that I kept postponing thinking I wasn’t ‘good-enough’ yet.  However, I have a finished short sitting here on my hard drive that begs to differ and I am about 10,000 words or less away from a full-length paranormal romance that agrees with the short. In the cliché way of thinking, it was more than time to shit or get off the pot (that gem is courtesy of my grandmother).  So today I bit the bullet, pulled the trigger, or whatever else sounds better than ‘got off my ass’ and did something that terrified me.  I joined a professional organization for writers. WOW!

Honestly, it feels like a weight I didn’t even know I had has finally been lifted off my shoulders. Once I finished a writing assignment for a class I’m taking, I will be completing a submission packet for my short.  My short that another publisher was interested in if I would consider making it a full-length.  So, I need to get over my horrible nerves and just suck it up and submit the darn thing.  Why?  To prove it to myself that it’s good?  Well, sure.  But also because the only way to go from being a writer that just writes to a writer that gets published, is to actually submit works for publication.  

Wish me luck, my friends, because this girl is planning on making it happen this year. As my mom keeps reminding me, she’s not gonna live forever and she really wants to see my name in print. (I told you she was getting good at playing that cancer card, didn’t I???  lol  )

Until next time-- Jeni