The War In My Head Continues...

I should be working today...

... but I can't seem to get anything accomplished.  Twitter keeps telling me it's hung itself in a fit of depression overcrowding whatever...
.... my laundry isn't folding itself... (although I do have the kids "helping" fold it for what that's worth)...
.... and I'm looking at using WordPress potentially to move my blog to since they have what looks like some cool features.   Although all those bells and whistles that look cool, also look crazy overwhelming...

It's not that I haven't used WordPress before, because I have.  In a separate blog a couple of years ago.  Sad thing was that with all the fancy things, I got lost when it came down to the sitting-down-and-writing-a-silly-post thing.  (Of course I checked that blog out today after months of neglect only to get so side-tracked that I forgot what I was looking for in the first place which is how I found cool widgets like good reads and stuff that blogger doesn't have...  oh the pain in my brain right now... )

Soooo, what I'm asking is, "Have any of you use blogger or WordPress?" If so can you send me a message or comment here letting me know what you find best about the one you use and why.  Obviously, I'm currently using Blogger and it's super simple which is probably why I can actually get a few posts accomplished in any given week, but I need to know more about WordPress before I go making any rash decisions!

Tech-inept girl over here would really love to know your thoughts on it all and maybe then I could get down to some real work in the soon to near future

Brownies for Books

My 7 year old son recently had the idea to start  a book club.  At first I was skeptical.  But as he talked about how cool it would be to have some friends over to talk about books I thought, this kid finally 'gets' me.   He finally loves books and reading as much as I do!  This is great!  Now I should say here that up until that moment I hadn't yet agreed to host a book club for kids.

As his hands waved all over the kitchen as he talked animatedly with more excitement than I've seen out of him in MONTHS, I was sold.  Hook, line and sinker sold.  He had me dropping everything I was in the middle of doing to sit down and outline (his idea, not mine) a game-plan for how this could work out.

It wasn't until we started talking refreshments that I realized something might be a little rotten in the state of NC.  He was adamant that we serve brownies.  When I asked why?  He said, "Because Mommy you only make brownies when you go to your book club..."hmmm....  So I asked if that's why he wanted to have a book club.  To which he replied, "Well, it's not the ONLY reason...  I really want to see my friends and read cool books, but having brownies with all that would be even BETTER!"

Yup, so now I am trading brownies for reading books!  But guess what?  I don't actually mind!  He's reading AND he's telling everyone (including random strangers in Target) all about his book club!  He sat down and thought very hard about which of his friends might want to join because as he said, "Not all of my friends are book friends!"  Cute, right?!?!

So if you happen to have a kid in the 1st - 5th grade age range that wants to read along with us this summer, here's the list of books we will be reading and discussing...  I'll link to their Amazon.com pages....

Monday, June 25th - Junie B., First Grader Aloha-ha-ha by Barbara Park

Monday, July 9th - The Adventures of Captain Underpants by Dave Pilkey (the first book in the series)

Monday, July 23rd - Miss Child Has Gone Wild by Dan Gutman

Monday, August 6th - George Brown, Class Clown Wet and Wild by Nancy Krulik

Monday, August 20th - The Lightning Thief (Percy Jackson and the Olympians Book 1) by Rick Riordan

Stay tuned for updates on how the brownies, I mean BOOK CLUB, turns out!

Let's Review

As usual, I am a reading fool who will read and read and read some more.  One would think "How the heck does she get anything done around her house with 2 kids, a hubby, and writing when all she ever talks about is whats she's read lately?".

The truth is nothing gets done around here.  The kids have been trained taught how to do help with the laundry, make their own cereal for breakfast, get showered, get dressed and make their beds (which they do as often as I do, so we will call that one a draw).  And this past weekend my oldest laughed with glee when I let him vacuum.  Yes vacuum.  Not winning the Mother of The Year Award this year here, but really, he is learning valuable skills that will someday make him a great catch for one lucky lady!! Anyway, I digress... again...

While starting to write this post I was having a hard time remembering all that I've read in the last 12 days since I last blogged about my recent reads.  So I've come up with a semi-plausible solution....  Review on Amazon what I read as I read it.  Then I can log into Amazon and see what I've reviewed recently thus keeping track of what I've read recently.  I should also say that I read a lot of the same genres that I like to write, so you will notice romances, and fantasy fiction and novellas of any genre are the tops of my lists, but I love general fiction/novels as well.  Plus, I'm a huge fan of the free-kindle download list on Amazon.com so I also read a bunch of freebies as they pop up.  It should also be mentioned that my Momma taught me the age-old adage that "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all," but I wasn't always such a good listener.  So, most of my reviews will try to have something positive to say in them even if I really disliked the book.  With that being said, let's review my version of the 5 star system...

5 stars = Not only did I really enjoy/love this book, I'd recommend it to all of my friends.  OFTEN.
4 stars = It was a good read, I enjoyed it and I might mention it to a friend or two if I can  remember it's title
3 stars = So-so read.  Unlikely to recommend, but might give the author a second chance if I liked their style of writing
2 stars = Didn't enjoy or it didn't catch my attention.  Likely to not read another selection from the same author
1 star = Gosh, hard to imagine a 1 star book, but I know I've read some over the years....  and those I promptly forget having read, either because the writing/editing was bad/poorly done/unprofessional and the storyline was flat and uninteresting.

Having put all that out there, I choose to read a lot of books that are self-published as well as traditionally published books.  The self-published books, I enjoy for reasons that I find hard to explain.  Maybe it's because I can relate to the author's choice to self-publish.  Maybe it's because I know how hard it is to be brave and put your work out there for anyone to read.  Maybe it's because I can see myself doing it in the future.

Anyway, when I link to books hers on either Amazon or the author's website, I'll put my star rating next to it that corresponds with my Amazon review.  :-)  Enjoy!


Wallflower In Bloom by Claire Cook - 5 stars Amazing read!  (If the name doesn't ring a bell, it should because Claire Cook has also written Must Love Dogs and Seven Year Switch. )  Let me start by saying,  I loved this book.  And I don't ever watch DWTS.  Although maybe I will give it a try after reading this...  Funny, heartwarming and a great reminder that finding oneself means that you sometimes have to get out of your own head and just live life!  Definitely read this!!

Destiny Wears Spurs by Kari Lee Harmon - 5 stars  I was lucky enough to snag this book when it was running free as a promotion on Amazon (kindle), but would seriously pay the $3.99 asking price (or more even).  It was funny with a hunky cowboy who didn't want to fall in love with another city-slicker girl, but really he NEVER stood a chance!

Already Home by Vicki Lewis Thompson - 5 stars I know people on Amazon were a little harsh with their reviews on this one, but it was a novella.  A short.  Which means it's short, so a lot happens in a little amount of time.  I happen to love novellas.  I love reading them as much as I love writing them.  As a reader though, it gives me a great story that I can fit into a little bit of spare time.  So anything I can read in an hour or so, I totally dig especially if it's fun.  As for Already Home, I'm sure plenty of people can relate to the one person from 'back then' that they had a secret crush on.  For all those people, this book was written.  Plain and simple.

Lust, Money and Murder Book 1 by Mike Wells - 4 stars I will say that I have purchased the second and third books in this series but have yet to read them.  Book 1 grabbed me from the first few pages and it was a quick read.  I started the second book, but only got about 2 pages in.  Then I moved on to finish something else I was reading, so I'll review it separately.

Marriage By Mistake by Alyssa Kress - 4 stars Currently free on Amazon kindle and a cute read.  Had a bit of the Pretty Woman vibe to it, but fun in it's own right.  I'd mention it to a friend.

As for what I'll be reading next, here's some of the upcoming books, but these don't account for the over 200 on my kindle waiting for my attention...

But if there is something you have read and want to recommend, e-mail me or comment here letting me know, title and author and I'll add it to my list!

For Whom The Bell Tolls...

I think I've terrified our UPS guy.  Literally.  I mean there was only those handful of times I opened the door squealing because a package I was waiting for had arrived (or worse; we won't discuss the 'worse' but they aren't good...).  Okay, so maybe a few handfuls, but who's counting right?!?  Anyway, the last couple of deliveries he's parked past the driveway (probably to throw me off who he's delivering to here in suburbia) and hit the doorbell as he's practically sprinting from the porch...  I mean, what can I say?  The guy is fast!  He's usually a brown blur speeding into the truck (parked further away than usual!) by the time I get to the door.

Sorry to say, but his luck is about to run out!  Now that I'm back in my office which is conveniently located right by the front door, he's going to have to interact with me!!  Or ask for a route change.  Either or.  But trust me, I will be waiting because I have an Amazon order coming later this week.  Game on 'Boy In Brown', Game ON!!

Mastering The Art of Pillow Talk

I have the pleasure of writing pillow talk in some of my stories and it's always that great, "Morning, beautiful.  Let me just hold you for a few minutes then I'll go get you a cup of coffee just the way you like it" kind.

In reality, I usually wake up to if not one, then two little people staring me and whispering, "Do you think it's okay for us to just start breakfast without Mommy?"  To which I usually just moan, "YESSSS,  I'll be there in a minute.... if you need help, go find Daddy..." because we all know Ron is up already and working.  He's one of those "morning people" that I've read about in books and seen in movies (but choose to believe aren't real like mermaids as my youngest keeps insisting...although I like to think she's wrong).  By the time my phone starts shouting at me to wake up, he's already put in over an hour of time working in his downstairs office.  Yeah and he's chipper too...  UGH!

But on the rare weekend morning when no one has to rush around to be to anywhere by a certain time or get to an early appointment, I have the rare pleasure of waking up next to the man I married.  On these occasions, I always long for the sweet nothings I get to muse about in my writing, but what I get is always something completely different...

For example:

"Did you make the coffee yet?  I can't get my day started without coffee..."  - but yet during the week he never gets coffee until I roll out of bed to make it and he's already been super productive??  How it possible this does not to translate to the weekends?

"Today I need to make a plan so I'm not as unproductive as yesterday." - yesterday was Saturday.  You are SUPPOSED to be unproductive on Saturday.


"Hmm, I think today I'm going to figure out how to cut our expenses." - uh, ok.  Sounds like fun.  See you on the other side of that.   P.S. I need to go buy a new vacuum cleaner.  Amex will be my friend today while you figure out that budget-thinger.

"Did you hear that?   I think the kids are up.  We should go see what they are doing...", he asks while shaking me awake out of my peaceful slumber. - You and I both know the kids are out of their rooms by 7 am.  If it's 7am or after, of course it's the kids and no, I don't want to go see what they are doing because up until a moment ago I was sleeeeeeepppppping!!!  Because 'we' always means me....  Grrrrr

"What are we doing today?  I need to know so I can make sure I have time for _______________."  - the blank is always filled in with something, but when this is the first thing you say to me in the morning, the only plan I currently have is to suffocate you with my pillow for making me try to think before handing me a cup of coffee (with cream and sugar please) and telling me that I look pretty...  which brings me to the whole point of this post...

No matter how awful, dreadful, scary, appalling, disturbing I ( or any woman ) look in the morning, tell me I look amazing, beautiful, appealing, sexy, gorgeous, lovely, or pretty and hand me a cup of coffee!!  That's pillow talk 101.

"You'll love me in 5 years..."

was what I heard from Ron this morning as I rushed around trying to get showered and ready for the day.

He followed that proclamation with something about finances I think, but honestly I was too busy trying to keep shampoo from getting into my eyes, so all I walked away remembering of our "conversation" was that I'll love him in 5 years.  Kind of as if I don't love him now.  Which still has me in stitches.  Not because I don't love him, I do.  Some days more than others of course.

This is not at all unusual.  Little random gems like these, get dropped on me quite regularly.  It's a good thing he's so handsome, rich,  witty, amusing, tech savvy.  Otherwise I think I'd throw my arms up in the air and scream like the crazy woman I am.  Not because of the randomness of it all, but because he has the worst timing ever.  Like when the shampoo is easing into my eyes as I wash my hair and he scares the bejezzes outta me to tell me how he saved us $32 a month or something.  Or like when I'm just falling asleep and he nudges me to ask, "Are you sleeping?"  Not anymore, Ron, not anymore.

But every once in a while he has a little gem at just the right moment.  Like this afternoon when I was about to beat my head against the wall after going 3 rounds with my daughter about something stupid where of course I know nothing and her 5 whole years of living makes her smarter than me.  Yeah, still could bang my head against the wall I guess...  But anyway, Ron takes one look at the crazed look in my eye while the muscle in my jaw that jumps when I'm close to losing my mind/temper, dances like a contestant on So You Think You Can Dance, and he says, "Wow, Jeni, you look so pretty today.  Did you do something different with your hair?"

At my bewildered expression, he must have decided that I was farther gone than he had initially thought, because he actually got up from his desk to give me a hug.  Randomly.  In the middle of his day.  When he was working.  Which NEVER happens.

So, I'll forgive the shampoo stinging from this morning for that one lie compliment and the much-needed hug.   So, I guess he's probably right, I WILL love him in 5 years.

"Well, she must be okay..."

To those of you that know me outside of this blog, you know that my Mom was recently living with us for a number of months while she kicked cancer's ass.  YAY (for beating cancer, not for having to fight it in the first place)!!  As with all things good and bad alike, they must come to an end.  For me, that end coincided with Memorial Day weekend when we moved Mom back to her house (2 hours away).

I've been kinda lost ever since.  People find it strange, but my Mom and I are friends.  So, having her living here was awesome.  On the days she felt well during chemo we had fun (usually at my expense like when we defrosted my deep freezer, but that's a tale for another time.).  After surgery we shopped and laughed (sometimes for dresses for me, sometimes for things for her).  But it was during radiation that we became addicted to Words With Friends.  This shouldn't really be a surprise though.  During her first 4 chemo treatments we took a travel Scrabble board with us and would set it up in the treatment area at a table and play.

Oftentimes we had other patients, who would normally sit quietly in their recliners, coming to help by suggesting words or just laughing along with us as we ferreted out which words were made-up vs legitimate.  (Okay, I'll admit I was usually the one using made up words...)  We even had the chemo nurses coming by to take pity on whichever of us was losing and lend a helping hand.  What can I say, wherever we are, we can draw a crowd.

But once we discovered Words With Friends, we were hooked.  It was almost a daily thing that I'd sprawl out across her bed downstairs and we'd play 3 different games while I hid from the children for 15 minutes.  This past week since she's been back home at her house, I've been a little like a lost bird; wandering aimlessly into what was her room (and will soon go back to being Ron's home office) and just pouting.  So, to ease my pain, I call her.  Often. For random crap.  It's borderline stalking at this point I'm sure, but since she's my mother, I'm sure it's okay.  Right?  Anyway, she was gone for less than 3 days before she came back to see my daughter's preschool graduation.  I knew she'd only be staying for two nights, but I was over-the-moon-excited to have her back.

I guess it comes as no surprise that both nights she was here I kept her up way past her bed time to get as much time with her as I could faschnegle (my word for 'manage' - you're welcome).  On one night I took her with me to book club.  The other night we stayed up to play Words With Friends until neither of us could see straight.  On Friday morning, she left to go home for good.  I'm pretty sure I talked to her at least twice that day and we also texted (she's getting pretty high-tech these days).  But as usual for any household with kids, on Saturday the day got away from me and I didn't have a chance to call her.  By the end of the day, I found myself laying in bed, missing her and afraid to call so as not to wake her, when I opened my iPad and saw she had played words only a few hours before on our games.  I smiled to myself thinking, "well she must be okay since she played words."  I played my words for each of our three games and thought, "now she'll know I'm still alive too."

Funny how it is that even at 11pm, just seeing her pop up in my Words With Friends, I can be reassured that she's okay.  Of course today, I will go back to stalking her.  ;-)  She's already gotten 1 e-mail and a phone call from me, so I'll be sure to make up for yesterday (most likely to her chagrin)!

Technology, the bane of my existence

I will admit that I rely heavily on technology, but sometimes it seriously has me questioning my intelligence.  My brother, Stink, often reminds me that I only have to be 10% smarter than the machine... however I think there is a good chance he is giving me way too much credit.

In some cases, I feel as if I've mastered some forms of technology, like my MacBook for example.  Although it's pretty much as user friendly as a piece of technology can get I think.

Now, when we talk about the refrigerator, that piece of technology is the bane of my existence.  It's always breaking down and it's always part of the technology that supposed to make it "smart" that is causing the problem.  Thankfully I have the best GE repair-specialist on speed dial.  In fact, the fridge is such a pain in my butt that I see him almost yearly.  When he comes I get my water filters, catch-up on how his family is doing and amusing him with anecdotes about my kids.

Now the microwave has decided to play too.  So tomorrow I get to try to figure out how to replace a bulb.  If I can't do it, I'll be seeing Rich again soon.

Forget the car.  That thing is more technology than not I think.

But today, one piece of technology I thought I had figured out, out-smarted me.  The T.V.  I mean really, people when the T.V. can outsmart me, I think it's time to hang it up for the day.  So I'm turning in for the night and hope that tomorrow will be better.

Although, I am thrilled to say that I was able to unclog the sink in the kids bathroom after they shoved countless toys and paper products down the drain!  So win one for being able to fix "old school" things!

"You Made Ron Gay?!?!"

Was not the response I was looking for when I asked my friend Leanne to read for me.  Seriously, I expected something more along the lines of her usual, "Why does everything you send me to read end on a cliff leaving me wanting more?  And why can't you just finish a chapter before sending it to me? or Don't use this word / make sure to switch the he here to she because otherwise you are writing a really different tale..."

Not, "You made Ron gay?!?!"  I mean, really what on Earth was she talking about???  So being my dimwitted confused awesome self, I send her this response, "What the hell are you talking about????  Ron isn't gay!  He's not even in the book..."

To which she responds, "and I quote ' “But Gwen, you know I would have stayed home with you.  I could’ve rescheduled the date.  Hell, I could have cancelled it even.  He was what you would call a real nerd.  Tall, lanky, big glasses, smart eyes, and a little sidetracked by the fact that I didn’t have a smartphone.  I mean, really, what do I need with a smartphone?  I get distracted easily enough.  Right, Gwen?” he prompted trying to draw her attention to anything but how miserable she felt. '  ENOUGH SAID!"

A mental head slap for sure over here!  She was kinda, sorta, inexplicably right.  I had gone and made my tall, nerdy, glasses-wearing, smartphone loving and handsome hubby gay unintentionally.   And poor guy totally sucked at his make-believe first date even.   Which is why I will apologize to him and promise never to do it again intentionally*.  But in my defense, he had annoyed me that afternoon when I was trying to do some work and I might have been overdue for a shot of caffeine (which not only makes me a nicer person, but also gives me the strength to ignore him completely as I work while looking like I'm actually listening).  So as much as I try to keep the people in my head based strictly on characters I can vividly see and hear when I close my eyes, occasionally, a real person gets bumped into a story without me even realizing it.

I've been asked before if a certain character was based on myself or if a certain male lead was someone I should be dishing about, but honestly I have a rather boring life so usually the characters are the interesting people I dream up.  Besides the interesting people I know would likely try to bury me in their backyard if I wrote them into a steamy romance scene or worse a death scene.  Yikes!  Anyway, as I get ready to post a writing sample in a few days ( I hear the clock ticking down the hours), I feel the need to say, sorry if you are inadvertently in my story.  It wasn't intentional.

Oh, and now that I know I made my wonderful hubby gay unbeknownst to him, I'm going to keep it that way.  Why?  Because like my twitter feed, he probably won't read that story anyway!  ;-)  (Just teasing, Dear)**

And as for my other characters, all of them have a little piece of me in them.  They are like my kids; they share a bit of my DNA, have their own unique personalities and sometimes don't look a thing like me.  Although my friend Alice likes to tell me when she reads for me that she reads it with my voice in her head.  I imagine that like a bad audiobook in need of some major edits since she's a rough draft reader more so than a "I think this is as polished as it's gonna get without professional help" reader.

On the other hand, Leanne does both types of reading for me.  Mainly because I swear she speed-reads / speed-edits so she gets back to me super fast with comments and such, but also because she has an eye for detail, so I love her take on things.  She swears one of my characters is me in a sci-fi world.  I wish.  Gracelynn's tall, skinny, beautiful and spunky with a good edge to her.  Plus she's a mind-reader.  I mean, really who wouldn't want to be a freaking mindreader?  Plus the guy she falls for is hunky and probably doesn't need a smartphone attached to his person 24/7 - which I am safe to say since I'm almost positive Ron isn't reading this far...

But really, Gracelynn is a character who took up residence in my head when I was a teenager.  I even wanted to name my daughter after her but I was outvoted.  (You'd think puking for 30 weeks straight before bringing her into the world would earn me an extra vote, but apparently not.)  She's been in my head since high school.  I can honestly say, her story is much better now than it was back then.  Similar story thought, but a completely different take on it and I am sad to be almost done writing her story.  It'll be like divorcing a piece of myself I think when I *fingers crossed* get it published.

Anywhoooo, I promise to all my friends, acquaintances and family members to not intentionally write them into a book.  Unless I need some caffeine.  Then all bets are off. ;-)


*Intentionally, I might make him a serial killer or a victim of a pointless crime some day though (on paper of course)
**That's to cover my bases in the event that he reads my blog, but I'm pretty sure that I'm safe in assuming he'll skim it at best. ;-)

What Happens at Book Club, Stays at Book Club

I mean really, book club is like the girl's version of fight club anyway, right??  

Okay, so probably nothing like fight club at all.  It's MUCH better!  If you currently are a  member of a book club (and probably not the ones sponsored by a book store, library, or Oprah) you might know what I'm talking about.  The book club I belong to is comprised of a hodge-podge of terrific ladies who all share a love of reading, books, wine, time away with other women.  (I jest, honestly we do like some of those other things too!)

We trade off on who hosts and we all suggest and select the books we read.  Some are serious, some are NY Times Bestsellers, some are young adult series (HP, Twilight, Hunger Games), we once did a comic book, I mean we are a group of ladies who will try to read mostly anything.  Recently one of our founding member wrote and published a book, I've read it, reviewed it (on Amazon and B&N) and I now am the proud owner of a signed copy of the book!  

Besides the camaraderie that book club offers, I am always slightly awed by the magic of how books (and wine) can bring people who are so different together to become such amazing friends.  Seeing these lovely ladies the other night gave me that sentimental feeling deep down inside my heart that a person feels when they "go home."  You know what I mean, that place where you are truly happy and just able to relax and be yourself knowing that you are surrounded by people who love and respect you.  (... and can appreciate your warped sense of humor and off-collar remarks when it comes to convincing them of the value in reading Fifty Shades of Grey.)

As usual, I digress and get off topic.  Believe it or not this was initially going to be a post about what I'm currently reading and what I've read recently. Which I will get to.  Probably. Okay, going there right now...  I promise.

So, in the spirit of rekindling our awesome, hubbys-allowed-at-their-own-risk (trust me they almost never risk it except for a brief jog through the kitchen to stock up on snacks), bring a bottle of something to drink, make sure someone remembers the chocolate, oh and at least make sure one person has a copy of the book for the love of all things holy, book club, I thought I'd make a list (with links) of some of my favorite reads we've done over the years and some of what I've read recently!  Nothing better than getting a summer reading list ready just in time for the kids to get out of school!

Bossypants by Tina Fey

The Help by Kathryn Stockett

Asperkids by Jennifer Cook O'Toole

Fifty Shades of Grey by E.L. James - I've already read the series, but the girls will be starting this one soon

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen - I had read it years ago so opted for Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Seth Grahame-Smith

The Snowman by Jo Nesbo - If you read & liked the Girl With The Dragon Tattoo, you'll likely enjoy this as well, I did

The Fat Man by Ken Harmon

Water for Elephants by Sara Gruen

Love The One You're With by Emily Griffin

The Carrie Diaries by Candace Bushnell - currently $2.99 on kindle!  YAY!

And here's my most recent reads that I've enjoyed (I've read more and have a huge list/pile still to get through, but these are the favs at the moment):

Sleeping With Paris by Juliette Sobanet

50 Ways to Hex Your Lover by Linda Wisdom

The Richest Man in Babylon by George S. Clanson - short, but interesting read on financial planning and preparedness told parable-style which is probably the only reason I read it in the first place... 

I, Spy? by Kate Johnson - up to date on the entire series and waiting eagerly for the next one to come out... hint, hint, Kate... waiting on you! ;-)

How To Date A Werewolf by Rose Pressey - fun series and easy to read and enjoy

Celtic Storms by Delaney Rhodes - fun series as well!

And many more are in the process of being read and waiting their turn.  ;-)

So, what have you read recently?  Oh, and because sometimes we also talk about the books we read at book club, any suggestions for good questions on Fifty Shades?